EXCLUSIVE: Chet Haze’s Holiday Album Delayed Indefinitely
Sources have confirmed that Tom Hanks’ son and Northwestern’s premiere rapper on all things Hollywood, Chet Haze, has decided to segue into rhyming about the holidays but has run into difficulty...
View ArticleThings You Should Do During Christmas
There’s nothing quite like Christmas. This special holiday has the power to get Fox news commentators up in arms, replace your favorite TV shows with endless holiday specials, and temporarily make it...
View ArticleThings I Wanted for Christmas but Didn’t Get
I only asked for a few things this Christmas, but unfortunately Santa decided to bring me socks and Chapstick instead. So, I’m reaching out to the loyal readers of the Ave. If you are still feeling the...
View ArticleWhat You’re Doing Over Winter Break
We’re a full three-ish weeks into Winter Break now, and all your productive little plans have collapsed faster than the economy once we go off the fiscal cliff, rite?! Rite. But with the help of all...
View ArticleA Gentile’s Guide to Jewish Christmas
What is this “Hanukkah” I keep hearing about? Hanukkah (which is Hebrew for ‘Christmas’), is a Jewish holiday which takes place sometime between October and February, celebrating the Jews discovering...
View ArticleA Call for ‘Respectful’ Black Friday Celebrations
Dear fellow Northwestern students, With Black Friday happening this weekend, we wanted to take this opportunity to reflect on the actual meaning of the occasion, and how that should guide the way we...
View ArticleHow to Deal with Your Family This Holiday Season
With winter break upon us, many of us will be back at home spending time with our families. To some of us, this sounds like a great chance to reunite with the people you love the most. However, to many...
View ArticleFuck This Tree
Fuck this tree. This fucking tree. I promise I don’t normally start stories in medias res, but I can’t help it. This tree is a giant, nine-foot, demonic, home-wrecking, total piece of fucking shit. I...
View ArticleHow to Have a Heinous Holiday Party
Want to have a Christmas experience like we do at the Ave? Here are just a few things you’ll need to make sure you have a Merry Heinmas: 1. Ugly sweaters, Santa hats, and reindeer antlers Just the...
View ArticleA Line-by-Line Analysis of “Feliz Navidad”
Unless you live under a rock or something, you know that Christmas is right around the corner: the time of year to enjoy moments with you family and friends, to tweet pictures of glasses of eggnog,...
View ArticleUncle Mike, Regent of Holidays, Deems It Now Okay to Play Christmas Music
Restriction on holiday cheer finally expires
View ArticleSherman Ave’s Holiday Gift Guide for Those Difficult-To-Shop-For People in...
Everyone already owns the Game of Thrones books so don't buy those please
View ArticleSherman Ave’s Guide to Gift Buying
Tis the season for presents galore! Can't figure out what gift to buy? Let us help you out!
View ArticleUncle Just Itching to Start Political Discussion During Christmas Dinner
Liquid courage from eggnog and Bailey's to help
View ArticleSherman Ave’s Guide to Local Hook-up Options
And we thought the Northwestern hook-up pool was limited.
View ArticleAn Open Letter to the Tinder Date I Ghosted
Larry, look. For the record, this isn't because you're not a nice guy.
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